Ghost

It exists without purpose, no sense of being,
Would you fear it or do you pity the thing?
Time and again, it stays its own course,
Like that nagging and annoying, unbalanced force.

Aware or not, of its existence are thou?
Even if it stands, in front of you now?
A freak of nature, is what it is to you,
A being that’s just there, but gives nothing new.

Are you curious, of what it is?
Wishing to find reason, on why it is?
Doesn’t matter, because it’s out of your control,
Ignore it shall you, for its useless role?

Or are you full of pity, from a sympathetic heart,
Do you wish to give it, a whole new start?
Oh kindness galore, but you are beating the wall,
For sympathy cannot rejuvenate its current stall.

Are you then angry, of so useless a thing?
Taking worthwhile space, from another useful being,
Though it naught disturbs you, but makes you angry,
Just because it is there, and does you no good?

Are you simply indifferent, to this bloody ghost?
To keep living as usual, in your own world closed?
It’s existence so trivial, like sand on a beach,
That you simply place yourself, beyond its reach.

Or are you moved, by it motives unclear,
On why it exists, when it has nothing here?
Would you be-friend such, a creature so wretched,
And pull it out of its rut, are you so kindred?

For your actions say, who you really are,
And if such Ghosts seek you out, or stay afar,
For you may be their fear, or their salvation,
And maybe save them from, their own damnation!

And now you ask, which one of this I belong to,
If you haven’t guessed, you’ve never known me true,
Existing endlessly, without knowing why,
The ghost indeed, is what I really am!

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Failure

When I am the only stalled car, in the highway of life,
I feel a numbing frustration, whose growth is rife,
As I watch others speed by, I begin to fear,
Will I be the only one, forever stuck here?

I thought I made, all the right choices,
That I was right in ignoring, the discouraging voices,
As I am stuck here, my way forward unclear,
Do I March right ahead, or crawl back in fear?

For my dogged persistence, to be always contrary,
Eschewing oft-trodden paths, to create my own,
Now stuck all alone, with no one around me,
Is loneliness the only reward, I get to see?

Forever ridiculed, I have faced only scorn,
As I trod through the brambles, I get only thorns,
Is my will to be righteous, rooted in insanity?
As pointless as the need, to have a mask of vanity?

And as I trudge slowly, pushing my existence along,
Deep in painful retrospection, on where I went wrong,
All say I am lucky, to have the time to smell roses,
Like mocking my helplessness, as each door closes?

As I stumble along, losing all will and courage,
I keep all to myself, saving an imagined face,
Am I just too proud, to get a helping hand?
Or just too ashamed, of what I now am?

And yet cluelessly dumb, I still have hope,
My belief in impossible, has an infinite scope,
Because at the end of it all, it is all I’ve got,
Without which I fear, I’ll begin to rot.

And so I march on, with a renewed zeal,
Fuelled by fear, is a strange rush I feel,
I could fail at most, even fail at it all,
But failing at myself, is the worst of all!

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Mundane Shackles

Why you exist, you don’t really care,
For pondering, really, who has the time to spare,
Day in – Day out, you tread the oft trodden road,
On your life un-inspiring, you have always woed.

Deep in your comfort zone, so cozy you feel,
Ain’t no more ambition, so you’ve lost your zeal,
You expect mundane success, to make you sated,
You are becoming the one, you’ve always hated.

Your anger at self, shows no sign of abating,
So near exploding, a volcano awaiting,
You’ve done no deed, you want to be proud of,
Your life in perspective, you have nothing to show for.

For its the pain of a failed life, you feel to the core,
Like you are being poisoned, through every pore,
It has no form, it has no shape,
But you feel it yearn, your final escape.

You’ve tried all you can, to numb what you feel,
Bur there is no sign of it abating, it’s murderous zeal,
You muster yourself, prepare for a fight,
That may need much more, than all your might.

And so inside you, is the fight that’s raging,
Yet everyone’s un-aware, of the war you’re waging,
You need to do this, to be the last one standing,
And you must do what it takes, however demanding.

You need to get out of, the grips of mundane,
Need to break away from, life’s usual lane,
Cause if you give in, even though you survive,
You’ve condemned your dreams, to rot and die.

It’s time to break your dreams, out of their cages,
Let not the mundane, overbear your life,
Fight as hard as you can, to let your dreams fly,
If just to feel the pleasure, as they soar to the sky.

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Eyes to live for

I see millions of them, surrounding me,
Each no different, and yet unique,
Unwillingly, I find myself in spotlight,
Like a really bad actor, in the midst of a stage fright.

I feel all the eyes, their unwavering stare,
With their intent, laid out frank and bare,
I see them all around, they are all I see,
Trying to make out, what I am and will be.

I see eyes of hate, of evil unseen,
In wishing my downfall, they are so keen,
I see eyes of envy, so filled with green,
Wishing to take away, what little I have.

I see eyes indifferent, that don’t really care,
Just looking beyond, like I ain’t even there,
I see eyes that plain look down on me,
Like I am a piece of dirt to wipe off their feet.

I see eyes of sympathy, glazed by pity,
Like I will never be as good as they have been,
I see eyes of anger, their furies unmasked,
Cuz of something I did, in my blameful past.

I see truth in the eyes, of all those liars,
Awaiting my defeat, while they wish me luck,
I see those eyes, that size me up,
Disguising intents, that only time will tell.

And then I see them, the eyes that I seek,
Hidden in plain sight, for me to find,
Eyes of friendship, to never break,
Whose trust in me, shall never shake.

Eyes filled with respect, for what I am,
That accept my strength, with my flaws,
Eyes filled with love, willing to care,
That fill me with pleasure, of their stare.

It’s for eyes like these, that I plough on,
The ones that give me, the strength to go on,
Eyes within which, a sight I see,
A pure reflection, of the true me.

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Dream Girl

I never believed in love at first sight,
Along you came then, to set me right,
Head over heels, I am falling so deep,
My heart no longer, mine to keep.

And yet you tease, never coming near,
Always staying obscure, never clear,
Vision clouded, nothing to hear,
You are making my sanity, disappear.

Why I yearn, for what I can’t get,
Why for what can’t be, my heart is set,
By pursuit of a crazy ambition,
I have set myself, for perdition.

I have fallen in love, with what can’t love back,
My heart so crazy, my mind can’t fight back,
I have turned a blind eye, to all that’s possible,
In my reckless pursuit, of the impossible.

For I realize, the truth about you,
Why none but my mind can sense you,
Faceless, Nameless, yet beauty eternal,
You are a dream, just ephemeral.

My heart’s gone crazy, on a harmless prank,
Played by my mind, to fill a blank,
That’s all it will seek, all it will yearn for,
It’s resolve unmatched, by a mind so meek.

And so I set out, on an unknown quest,
To keep me sane, put my heart to rest,
To learn your name, to see your face,
My Dream girl, you are my ultimate quest.

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True Hero

Life just sucks, so bad that it stinks,
Your own heart dont give a damn, what your brain thinks,
You twist, you writhe, with yourself you fight,
For your life’s a dark tunnel, with no light in sight.

Your life’s so bad, that you think its definition,
Is just a miserable string, of bad decisions,
Sucess is a myth, with failures the norm,
With life a sport, you are never in form.

Your eyes can see success, but none your own,
Like in a guild of failures, you are all alone,
“Misery loves company”, is what they all say,
But you have even failed in, misery’s play.

You were still miserable, even when you got drunk,
You remained miserable, even high on junk,
You’ve become addicted, to all thats addictive,
Misery is so loving, while happiness elusive.

You struggle with might, at a job that you hate,
To be appreciated, by those that you hate,
You seek to make more money, that you hate to spend,
In the hope that happiness is just around the bend.

You are lonely, in your misery all alone,
Your loneliness, it seems, is cast in stone,
You are one of a kind, someone so unique,
Miserable in loneliness, of the company you seek.

You wonder the reason, for your pitiable self,
Your soul like a tree, under withering spell,
The challenges so huge, your resolve so small,
Shattered is confidence, like a fallen glass.

You aint got the guts, to say what you want,
Or to shut others up, amidst their rant,
Enraged but meekly, you obey the world,
Angry but accepting, how your life’s unfurled.

You feel so powerless, like your life’s drained out,
Like a zombie you exist, day in and out,
A life so lacking, in a world full of life,
Like looking for peace, when everything’s in strife.

You want to oppose, but are too weak to fight,
In the dark lonely tunnel, there is no light,
You want to struggle, break free of it all,
Willing to even accept, the deathly call.

And yet you survive, ploughing without cease,
In home that something better, is in your reach,
You refuse to give in, to give up on your dreams,
Even life as hellish, as it now seems.

You will never give up, you will never cave,
You will keep pursuing, the life you crave,
Because you are a fighter, you will survive,
You are the true hero, of your own life.

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Deathly Dreams

You start every morning, with a wish to die,
You end every day, with a want to die,
You seek release, from a life so lifeless,
You seek freedom , from an existence worthless.

Death (your own) is all that you can dream,
You seek to jump out, of your lifeless stream,
You lead a life accursed, no purpose served,
Is this what , that you really deserved ?

You dream of being shot, shot to death,
The trigger pulled, with the gun at your head,
Jumping off the cliffs, is what you think about,
When guns and knives, dont marr your sleepy thoughts.

Why in all your dreams, you see your death ?
Why feel so free, with dreams of last breath ?
Whats wrong with your life , whose end you seek ?
The methods of which , in methods unmeek.

Is it the lack of love, of warm attention ?
Or the lack of people, with a friendly intention ?
Is it the lack of aim, of what you want to do ?
Or the pressure of what , others want from you ?

You wish to break free, break away from it all,
You wish to fill colour, in your life so dark,
You wish to live, your own lively dreams,
You want to have a life, as good as it seems.

With this realization, your dreams now alter,
Your wish for death, now begins to falter,
You’ve got your aim, with a hopeful dream,
You’re now as normal, as you seem.

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Friendlessness

You sit all alone, in glum depression,
The emptiness beside is, a sad impression,
You stare at it, with your loneliness mounting,
The empty air beside you, is now so haunting.

Friendless! That’s how, you’ve been for years,
Friendless, you will be, for years to come,
The accursed friendlessness, is now choking you so,
That release you yearn, from this friendless soul.

You have friends so few, so few, if any,
That to count them on, you have fingers too many,
You wonder what’s wrong, wrong with you,
Why amongst all people, you have friends so few .

Is it the fact that you are true to you?
That you aint masked nothing, you are really you?
That you try to get, what you really want?
That society don’t rule, your will and want?

The frustrating friendlessness, gnaws at your soul,
Your mind goes mad, your heart goes cold,
You debate on your own, with yourself you argue,
Reasoning about your, friends so few.

That you are born alone, alone you die,
In between is all, a deceptive lie,
Life is all but, the time in between,
Why should you be judged, on with whom you’ve been?

For all you can see, are masks very pleasant,
Each hiding well, the truth unpleasant,
Why be troubled, to hide the real,
Why put themselves, through such an ordeal.

For friendship true, blossoms from within,
It cannot be forged, by masks so thin,
For forged with masks, are bonds so thin,
Broken by a whisper, by a ripple within.

Thus realization, now hits on you,
The reason you seeked, for your friends so few,
You refuse to bond with masks unreal,
That’s your excuse, for your friendless ordeal.

But deep down you know, of your excuse’s falsity,
That you are the reason, of your friendless liability,
You know, to have a friend, you need to be a friend,
That the time is high, for your life to amend.

But set in stone, your life won’t change,
You are too tired now, for a lifestyle change,
But the truth, you know, but won’t accept ever,
That it is loneliness you seek, forever and ever.

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Adrenaline

You stand at the edge, and you wanna step over,
As on the verge of destruction, your soul does hover,
You are ready to give up, everything that you care,
In the ultimate blood rush, the thing that you crave.

For, to that ultimate blood rush, you are so addicted,
The feeling of which, cannot be evicted,
Cuz on the bloody feeling, you get so high,
Like without no wings, you’ve begun to fly.

And it all in you, its nuthin artificial,
It’s hibernating in you, completely natural,
It’s like latent power, awaiting release,
Waiting to be unleashed, by endangering thee.

It gives you more high, than any drug or drink,
All you do to release it, is stand on death’s brink,
You feel the adrenaline sweet, flow through your veins,
It feels sweet inside you, releasing all your pains.

You defy death daily, for your everyday fix,
You are so addicted, that you can’t go on,
The more you get it, the more you crave it,
So you go closer to death, to feel more of it.

The addiction now has, consumed your life,
Resisting its temptation, is now your life’s strife,
Cuz now your addiction, is another’s entertainment,
Cuz there aint no one left, who on your death will repent.

You wanna hold back yourself, to take control,
You want to reclaim, that part of your soul,
But it’s too late for you, there’s no turning back now,
You can be released, if only to death you bow!

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Beautiful Shell

You stare at the mirror, with dark unbelieving,
You now think how long, you’ve been deceiving,
Though you never thought yourself, a beauty’s messiah,
But ugly, the word, blew your happiness entire.

You don’t blame no one, cuz it’s all your fault,
That you thought it was nuthin, when your face showed a fault,
You laughed yourself, at all those jokes at you,
Cuz you believed that they will, see through you.

That you were ugly outside, but beautiful inside,
You never believed that you were taken for a ride,
That you were called only, when your help was sought,
That for the rest of the time, you were avoided a lot.

Aware with shock, of your own realization,
You now feel the onset, of a numbing sensation,
That your so called friends, were never friends of yours,
What your feeling should be, you’re not so sure.

You’ve been so saddened, but you aint sad,
You feel no remorse, over what you never had,
You feel only relieved, at the end of pretence,
Cuz you did it for you, for her essence.

You now look at her, with a feeling of pity,
The one who called you ugly, that cute entity,
Now you wonder, if she’s worth all the trouble,
You had tried so hard, to break through her bubble.

Cuz all she had was, a beauty external,
Which barely covered, the empty internal,
All she was but, a beautiful shell,
But one so beautiful, for whom you fell.

You now watch her, seeking help from another,
The beginning of the breakage, of mind’s beauty another,
Cuz now you’re wise, so she’s left you behind,
The empty shell has moved on, for another good mind.

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